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Without all that energy expended (read: wasted) growing resentful of each other, you'll have more to spend enjoying one another. ) Here's advice from experts as well as couples in the trenches on why this transition is so hard and what you can do to smooth things out.Domestic duties double, and so does your bickering.

After reading about the Ferber method, she agreed it was a good idea, but she still didn't want to listen to her son cry."Tim is just much more laid-back than I am," says Tina."He gets on the floor and plays wherever our son happens to be, even if it means overturning the laundry basket. I'd come home to see Jake sleeping in the middle of a circle of toys on the living room floor at dinnertime!"Tina, meanwhile, wanted to set up play stations rather than have toys strewn around the house, as well as make sure things were put back where they belonged to get Jake in the right habit. "We were resentful and snapping at each other all the time," she says.And my previously lauded spontaneity was now a fatal flaw called disorganization. Making the leap from coupledom to baby-makes-three is exciting, exhilarating, and wonderful.It's also exhausting, exasperating, and worrisome—a combination that can be toxic to the romantic relationship that made you parents in the first place.

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